Thursday, April 1, 2010
When Griffin was born we had been through so much with Mac we wanted everything to be "perfect" with Griffin. We had so much anxiety waiting for every milestone with Mac. Our home was often a revolving door of therapists and days were filled with endless medical appointments and battles with insurance companies. When Mac turned three I could not wait to shut and lock my door and never let another therapist in again.
I never imagined myself a parent to ignore warning signs and imagine tomorrow that my child would start talking, walking, etc. But very early on I did just this with Griffin. I noticed very early on his language, social and motor skills were off. I was often the advocate to other families about getting help early and the benefits of early intervention. Yet I refused for a long time to make that call. I could not imagine having another therapist walk through the door and tell me something was wrong with my child. It really took my pediatrician sitting my down and asking what the hell I was doing to have me make that call. I was dreading the conversation, the evaluation and everything that comes along with a child receiving therapy before three. I did not want to pretend that I was perfectly happy with the situation my family was facing, when really I was up nights wondering what would happen to my child.
Griffin started to receive services soon after my talk with the doctor. I realized I needed to just get over my issues and do what was best for him. Today marked the end of these services, Monday he will become the responsibility of the school department in our town. My heart is broken, yes I am sad that we will no longer receive therapy in our home. What was once a dreaded activity, turned into such a positive one. Griffin has really transformed before our eyes and I will be forever be grateful to the therapist's who I believe made this happen. When I was beat down from having therapist in my home, they made me look forward to these visits. While I once felt my home needed to be spotless, they allowed me not worry. They knew when to push and when to sit back and let things be. When they walked into our home for the first time I was beat down, when they left today I felt sad, but renewed and ready to face what we have ahead of us. When anyone wonders, why do you want to be a nurse, I usually immediately think "to make a difference" The more I experience in the nursing field the more I think how can I make a difference in such a short period of time that is often allowed for patient care. Griffin's therapists came for often only one hour a week and they made a huge difference in all of our lives. This I will never forget.
Amy and Andrea if you read this please know that I can never thank you enough for what you did for Griffin but also for what you did for me. Please do not think it ever went unnoticed.